Writing as E.V. Iverson Dead Dwight: a dark comedy

Dead Dwight cover image

Dwight has problems…

He found himself wandering barefoot on the Picks Crossing Bridge with no recollection of how he got there. Now he can’t find his truck. What good is a junkman without a truck?

Then when he got his barefooted ass home, his barfly, karaoke killing girlfriend informed him she’d had him zombiefied, and she was running off to Nashville with the local crackhead to be a star.

…So he ate her.

Dead Dwight: a dark comedy

The Science of Loving by Candace Vianna

 

Available at:
Amazon

She’s a shy researcher obsessed with muscles. She even has a muscle car. He’s the bad boy rock star of the architectural world, perfectly content with his bachelor status, but his tattoo artist sister has other ideas, and when she decides to play matchmaker, sparks fly.

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Twitter Refrigerator Repair Chronicles

So Peeps, our inside refrigerator died a while back, but hey we still had the 20 year old outside fridge from the first home we bought (a condo, no longer ours) when we were a young married couple with no kids *sigh*…

No worries, right? How many working refrigerators does one really need.

So it’s five years later, I’m finally getting around to fixing it and chronicling it all on Twitter… because I can.

But first things first…

Twitter Refrigerator Chronicles1

Damn, I knew I smelled smoke…

Twitter Refrigerator Chronicles2

Can you believe Sears wanted $120 for another one of those? I got one on Amazon for $30. Ha!… Of course this one didn’t have any nifty connectors, so I had to hard wire that bitch.

Twitter Refrigerator Chronicles3

And because you can’t be hard without discipline, I broke out the zip-ties.

Twitter Refrigerator Chronicles4

Unfortunately, since the foam gasket around the housing didn’t use its safe word, first-aide was required.

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Took a much needed break while it healed….

My kid on Musical.ly…. the gift that keeps on giving.

Twitter Refrigerator Chroniclesbt1

Just found my kid's Music.ly profile.. #Following Mmmmhahaha #BadParenting

A post shared by Candace Vianna (@candacevianna) on

Twitter Refrigerator Chroniclesbt2

Must get that finger from Manny's side….

A post shared by Candace Vianna (@candacevianna) on

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Mmmmhahaha!! Ok this is the last one (for now.) Hard to believe that Babyface is 24yrs old.

A post shared by Candace Vianna (@candacevianna) on

Back to the salt mines (Gotta save some embarrassment for later…)

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One final hiccup, before the world was right again…

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My Awesomegang.com Author Interview :) Candace Vianna

Yes, I wear men’s boxers… Hey, I didn’t choose the questions.
Source: Candace Vianna

First 10000 Readers Author Training Program First Impression and beyond…

So, when I decided to write my romance novel “The Science of Loving,” I didn’t consider what came after hitting the publish button. While I figured there had to be more to being a successful author, my focus was on other things…

Writing a 16 page essay the night before it is due...

So novel written, published… was lucky enough to have a few readers discover it. Luckier still that more liked it than hated it. But I need to reach beyond those intrepid few before I starve.

So, do I pay out hundreds of dollars in Facebook ads and BookBub blasts?  Do those even work?

My roommate is writing a research paper on how ineffective research papers are

One thing I have discovered, manually submitting to every ebook promotion site out there leaves no time for actual writing.

Which brings me to the email I received promoting a marketing course targeting authors. I attended their free online seminar (read sales pitch) promising for a mere $557 usd, they’ll teach me how to set up an automated marketing plan that will sell books and still leave me with time to write.

Much as it pains me, I admit to being swayed by the hype… (desperation makes the mind malleable) and decided to take that fucking $500 red pill and see where it leads.

Part of the sales pitch, buy now and get “60 Day Author” bonus training from Author/Writing Coach Joe Nassise. Unfortunately, this training turned out to be a single podcast basically giving an overview of his method that you can learn more about on his website. Once there you discover you have to actually buy  his training course to learn anything… Bonus training my ass.

First impressions… A very expensive meh…. This program does come with a thirty-day money back guarantee, so we’ll see…

Update…3/18/2017

Module 1 completed:

The first module—aproximately 100 minutes give or take—is a four part introductory lecture  on the ins and outs mainly of Amazon, but does give a nod to some of the other E-tailers along with supporting sales data… It was actually pretty good. It didn’t contain any actionable information, but it lays a good foundation for the more in-depth information promised in the subsequent modules.

So now I’m like…

It is worth mentioning, the sales data used in the presentation is from an author with a fairly deep catalogue. This is not a negative in my opinion, since you still need to lay the ground work whether you have one title or three, you just need to be aware and adjust your expectations accordingly.

 

 

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All of Donald Trump’s Ties to Russia and Putin, in 7 Charts – POLITICO Magazine

Politico created a straight forward visual guide to the many links between Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin’s Russia. It’s well worth a read.

Source: All of Donald Trump’s Ties to Russia and Putin, in 7 Charts – POLITICO Magazine

ProPublica’s Report on More than 400 Officials Trump has Quietly Deployed Across the Government. How bad does it have to get before the Republican Congress will act?

While Russian puppet Donald Trump systematically dismantles the American Dream, he’s also quietly filling the swamp, including dozens of former lobbyists, Trump campaign staffers and some affiliated with the online Alt-right.

How bad does it have to get before the Republican Congress will act? What would they do if this was Clinton?

Source: Here are More than 400 Officials Trump has Quietly Deployed Across the Government | ProPublica

Russia: Trump & His Team’s Ties | Congressman Eric Swalwell

An interesting connect the dots on what we know so far. Perhaps it’s all just coincidence… You decide.

Source: Russia: Trump & His Team’s Ties | Congressman Eric Swalwell

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Prophetic Mark Twain

Mark Twain on Patriotism

There’s no getting around it. Mark Twain is America’s Nostradamus. The quotes below prove it:

He predicted Twitter:

Mark Twain predicts Twitter

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” –Mark Twain

The home foreclosure  crisis:

Mark Twain on Bankers

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.” –Mark Twain

The corruption of the Fourth Estate:

Please tell me this is fake....

“If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.” –Mark Twain

“Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.” –Mark Twain

How statistics are gathered on Tumblr

 

The rise of the Alt-Right (aka American Fascism:)

“Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.” –Mark Twain

Rise of American Fascism

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” –Mark Twain

On a divided America, Mark Twain wisdom

 

“There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.” –Mark Twain

The_Donald claims Donald Trump was never accused of being a racist until recently. Someone shows he's been proven in court 3 times to be a racist since the 1970s. Mods delete comment within minutes out of fear.

He saw the rise of Trump before The Simpsons:

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.” –Mark Twain

“It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.” –Mark Twain

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.” –Mark Twain

Mr. ‘Oops’ Rick Perry is now in charge of the EPA and our nuclear arsenal.

“Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.” –Mark Twain

My father gave me a small loan of 24.9 million Koreans

 

He also tells us how to fix this mess:

“The silent colossal National Lie that is the support and confederate of all the tyrannies and shams and inequalities and unfairnesses that afflict the peoples — that is the one to throw bricks and sermons at.” –Mark Twain

ttfn