We’re well into the silly season. I’m not referring to Christmas, Channuka, Quanza, New Years or whatever (pick your personal flavor,)   but the train wreck that is the United States Presidential Primaries. You know, when we roll around in hypocrisy willy-nilly  until we’re caked in muck… Peeps, best quit rolling them eyes unless you want all this liberal hottness (yeah, I’ll own that) going Christian Grey on your ass—oh my.

This shit’s important. It’s about integrity and strength of character. We’re choosing the future face of our nation from a field so ugly, it’s scaring us stupid. How else do you explain the drop in our national I.Q. every time Trump opens his mouth….

So in an effort to scrape away some of that sludgy build-up that’s just too crusty to ignore, I’ve coined the “Hypocrisy  Check” game. Posts for those times when my husband—bless his heart—has scarpered out of my blast zone, running to his throne room to smoke in peace. It’s easy to play. Read and/or write when the candidates’ act hypocritically.

Now for the RULES. There’s really only a few, but they’re really, really important.

Number One: Tell the truth. JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE SAID IT ON THE INTERNET DOESN’T MEAN IT’S TRUE. Check your facts. Oh and don’t be a douche and use quotes out of context.

Number Two: Facts are Facts, Opinions are Turds and we’re all full of shit.  Try not to get them confused. In other words, don’t shit out an opinion then claim it stinks because the chocolate’s imported. Unless you’re talking about cheese, it’s shit.

Third and Final (for now): Be thoughtful and responsible. Be thoughtfully aware and responsibly offensive. Own your words.

So what’s the cause of my latest apoplectic fit?

Ted Cruz’s outrage over the Washington Post editorial cartoon. (WP wussed out of course, weak ass bitches took it down rather than standing by the journalist.)

“It used to be for a long time the rules across the board that kids are off limits(sic)” Cruz said, “That should be the rules. Don’t mess with our kids.”

On the surface his outrage seems not only reasonable, but justifiable; until you realize cartoonist, Ann Telnaes was calling him out for inappropriately using his little girls, five and seven years old as “political props” in a Campaign attack ad. Unlike his previous offensively inoffensive Stepford family ads (Canadian my ass, no family’s that perfect.  You’re alien doppelgangers and that makes your candidacy ineligible. Where’s a birther when you need one) with his encouragement, his seven-year-old actively attacks a political rival by reading from an anti-Hillary Clinton Christmas book with a villainous fairy-tale-witch voice:

“‘I know just what I’ll do,’ she said with a snicker. ‘I’ll use my own server and no one will be the wiser.'” (Referring to an email scandal. Although  cleared of any wrong doing, Secretary Clinton later admitted it was a lapse in judgement—Ya think? Sorry girl, still love ya, but damn.)

“Don’t mess with my kids.” Cruz declares to his base, vibrating with righteous indignation. “Don’t mess with Marco’s kids. Don’t mess with Hillary’s kid. Don’t mess with anybody’s kids. Leave kids alone And if the media wants to attack and ridicule every Republican, well that’s what they’re gonna do. But leave our kids alone.”

Then why in the hell didn’t YOU leave them out of it you fucking A-hole! You’re the one that thrust them into the political arena like a douche. Now you want to call foul? I don’t think so.

Mr. Cruz, if your gonna use your kids to fight your battles, expect some bloody noses.

You’ve stated, “All of us learned in kindergarten — don’t hit little girls. It’s not complicated. Don’t make fun of a 5-year-old girl and a 7-year-old girl.”

Well, most of us know not to use children as political weapons. Because when you do, that makes them FAIR GAME. And that’s on YOU! Your the one who instigated this, so stop being a tool. Did you even stop to consider what an ugly example you were setting when you encouraged your seven-year-old to publicly mock someone with whom, although you may disagree, you  work with professionally. These are the values you want to instill? That it’s okay to be a bully, to be rude, disrespectful and insensitive.

And honestly, we all know this isn’t really about a cartoon that’s  fairly tame in comparison to some of the rhetoric that’s spewed from your pie-hole. That became crystal clear when you launched a $1 mil emergency fund raiser in response to ad.:

“This is an emergency — all hands on deck.”

Seriously Mr. Cruz, pimping your young children by manufacturing political drama so you can send solicitations on their behalf is disappointingly unchristian.

“My daughters are not FAIR GAME. I’m sickened… I knew I’d be facing attacks from day one of my campaign, but I never expected anything like this… Will you help me fend off this most vicious personal attack on my daughters by making an instant, emergency donation?  Click here to make an instant, emergency contribution and help me fight back.”

Instead trying to cash in on your poor behavior,  own the consequences of your actions… Be the LEADER you claim to be and admit (or just shut the fuck up about) your lapse in judgement and we’ll all move on.