Rediscovering Eggplant

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Youth is wasted on the young. Can one truly appreciate clean and immediately accessible restroom facilities before suffering a bout of post-menopausal incontinence? Gentrifying it by calling it “overactive bladder”  doesn’t change the fact that sneezing, laughing  and road rage suddenly cause unpredictable leaks.  And whether…

Another Immutable Writerly Rule

  Treat the below items like the puss filled sebaceous cysts they are and excise them from your manuscript: Obvious/assumed actions and redundant informational  phrases:   Tricky Dick Mugillacutty picked up a slice of pizza in his hand, brought it to his mouth and took a bite. Unless gluttonous acts of pizza perversity are in…

Kitchen Chemistry, My accidentally awesome fish bisque

Last night, after another long day spent editing “Dead Dwight,” my family asked repeatedly (four times… one for each mouth,) “Do we have a dinner plan?” For some reason they ask this every night, and since the answer’s always “No,” you’d think they’d know better. Now, for those of you who who don’t know me,…