Answer by Candace Vianna:
I pretty much agree with the majority on this one, but here’s another punctuation trick to consider.
On the way to his car, Dan analyzed what the man had said: The warehouse was occupied on Wednesdays and Thursdays. But the Buffalo murder occurred on a Saturday, and Sarah Johnson was killed on a Monday. That meant Drake could have committed the murders and made the videos, so he was still a suspect.
The question as a writer, is whether or not the sentence is conveying what you want. Did the man at the warehouse say all of the above? Or just that the warehouse had been occupied on Wed. and Thur., and what followed was Dan’s thought processes. The original punctuation does not make this clear. By putting a full stop after Thur. This changes the entire context of the following sentence. Since I don’t know what your intent was, I don’t know if this helps. Other than that, the second sentence in it’s original state is a run-on sentence and needs to be broken up.
Candace Vianna Writes 