Hey Peeps, now that summer is in full swing, I thought I’d give you a summer reading list. These book titles may read like a perverts playlist, not all of them are.
These first few brilliant innuendo filled selections are only as dirty as your own mind.
Games You Can Play with Your Pussy: And Lots of Other Stuff Cat Owners Should Know
Ira Alterman (Author), Marty Riskin (Illustrator)
“Curious about cock? You’re not the only one. Once revered for his virility and strength, the rooster has taken a back seat to the hen in more recent years. With recipes like Risotto Cock Balls and Cock-o’s, “50 Ways to Eat Cock” is a fun and inventive chicken cookbook that takes a revealing look at the folklore, history, culinary culture and nutritional benefits of this well-endowed ingredient. In it you’ll learn practical, economical and healthy chicken recipes that will impress your friends and nourish your body.” Amazon product page.(Kindle Unlimited subscribers can read it for free… Yeah!)
Okay, this next title clearly falls under the “What were they thinking?” category. Published by Disney, this really is a children’s cookbook.
Cooking With Pooh: Yummy Tummy Cookie Cutter Treats : Cookie Cutters (The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh)
“How the hell are you supposed to eat healthy when you hang around with a bunch of assholes who couldn’t care less about what they stuff in their face? The answer: You make a bomb-ass plant-based dish from Thug Kitchen.” Amazon product page. Thug Kitchen has a series of cookbooks, yo.
Where Willy Went…: The Big Story of a Little Sperm!
by Nicholas Allan (Author)
“Willy is a little sperm who lives inside Mr Browne. The trouble is, Willy is one of 300 million sperm and they all want the same prize – an egg. It’s lucky Willy is such a good swimmer …Hilariously funny, warm, endearing and totally non-threatening – this small masterpiece presents the facts of life to young children in a unique but totally accessible way. A Godsend for any parent faced with awkward questions.”
If poetry’s your thing: Pole Dancing to Gospel Hymns
Learning to Play With a Lion’s Testicles: Unexpected Gifts From the Animals of Africa
by Melissa Haynes Contemporary fiction set in Africa.
“Playing with a lion’s testicles: An African saying that means to take foolhardy chances.” Amazon product page.
by Glenn C. Ellenbogen Ph.D. (Author) I am so reading this…
“Fact: One hundred percent of all dead patients showed a marked reluctance to pay their bills.
Fact: Well over half of all Americans alive today have experienced childhood directly, a syndrome marked by a) dwarfism b) knowledge deficits and c) legume anorexia.
Fact: When Ms. Cinderella left her glass slipper behind at the stroke of midnight, she was clearly acting in a state of rebellion against the dictatorial regimentation of the domineering fairy godmother.
It’s true. Members of the psychiatric community are capable of laughter. The Journal of Polymorphous Perversity, the brainchild of psychologist Glenn C. Ellenbogen, has received confirmed reports of uncontrollable outbursts of laughter as the pages of the scholarly parody are sampled.
Now patients, professionals, and armchair travelers alike can enjoy the articles that have appeared in this hilarious journal in one hilarious anthology, including such profound and penetrating subjects as “New Improved Delusions,” “The Scale of Mental Abilities Requiring Thinking Somewhat (SMARTS),” “Cancer and Tobacco: A Bum Rat,” and more. Learn how psychoanalysts diagnose patients by the way they park their cars in the mental health clinic lot and how to apply the practical principles of Vigilante Effectiveness Training (VET) in daily life.”
Okay, so now for the titles you dirty mothers have been waiting for.
*****The Best Worst Titled Adult Books****
When it comes to bizarre titles, gay porn has some of the disturbingly best.
President Domald Loch Ness Tromp Pounds America’s Butt
Sep 12, 2015 | Kindle eBook
Feeling The Bern In My Butt
Apr 8, 2016 | Kindle eBook
Gaygent Brontosaurus: The Butt Is Not Enough
and many, many more…best part, they’re available in the KU library for your semi-anonymous reading pleasure…
Wank Your Way To A Fitter You
by Mi-Wang Hertz (Pseudonyms are punny)
“Whether you call it masturbation, wanking, choking the chicken, or your euphemism of choice, Rosy Palm and her five sisters are your key to burning calories.” Amazon product page.
These are but a fraction of what’s out there… Go on your own scavanger hunt. Drop some titles in the comments section and let me know what you find.
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